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“Just stopping by to let you know that if you even think about boltin' during the wedding march, I'm running right behind you—but only to drag you back to the altar. The catering was way too expensive for us to miss the buffet. Deep breaths, try not to trip over your own feet, and remember: if she says 'I do', don't ask her if she's sure. Just accept how lucky you got. 🤵‍♂️💍”